This morning I was driving home from the gym in the gorgeous weather, feeling so happy.
Feeling deeply grateful for my unique journey. My 34 years have been selfish in the greatest way. I’ve focused on my own health and happiness, and my own soul growth, so that I can serve millions of people and be an “awake” woman comfortable in my own skin.
Then I had a revelation. It’s so easy to love myself when I’m having a wonderful day. My own personal work is to love myself more easily when I’m NOT having a wonderful day. To love myself when I’m feeling shame; to love myself when I eat something non-nourishing; to love myself when I don’t look how I want to; to love myself when I don’t feel like I’m good enough.
That’s true self-love; to love all parts of ourselves even when we’re in the ugly place. We are human. We will feel shame. We will feel unworthiness. We will feel annoyance. We will feel guilty about judging other people. It’s human.
Next time you feel something kinda bad, try to name that feeling. So many of us cannot identify what we feel, if we dare ask ourself in the first place. Then allow yourself to accept the feeling. Then allow yourself to accept yourself. Then allow yourself to love yourself while simultaneously feeling unworthiness/shame/guilt/pain.
This is how I’ve transformed myself so deeply in 34 years. I feel like I’ve had 3 lives in this life. It’s how I lost 80 pounds and kept it off, never being on a diet. There were practical life changes, but there was A WHOLE LOT of sitting with my uncomfortable feelings and accepting myself. That’s how you grow. That’s where the beauty is. I recall, so often, feeling so beautiful while I cried. There is beauty in healing.
You have my permission to feel the negative feelings, and still accept yourself. Now give yourself that permission.